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A Hepc blog, genotype 1, from discovery of virus, till (hopefully) the successful outcome. Also logging the mental, emotional and spiritual journey that this will entail. The entire contents of this blog are copyrighted by Paul Wilcox and Paul Wilcox reserves all rights granted by law to be associated with this blog.

Location: United Kingdom

Friday, June 09, 2006

Play Reaction And Other Media Stuff


I have had some reactions from friends and family regarding the play. All was very favourable although some confess to finding it hard to take at times.
Everyone said it was moving. Poignant was the word most frequently used.
I was amazed at how many asked what my reaction was?
How did the play affect me?
So I will make my comment here.

I thought it was excellent work by all concerned. I have been in a TV editing studio and I know how painstaking editing is for even just a short programme.
The blogs were very well put together and the superb soundtrack really set it off.
I felt it did give an insight into what it is like to have hepc and how treatment can affect you.

Sadly, for me, it set off a load of memories.
When Kim read out my lines about treatment failure I did shed a few tears – so did Sarah.
It just absolutely brought it all back.
I can see now why a lot of people move on and away from hepc and its associations very soon after TX.
I have attempted doing this myself but because I failed TX and still have the virus its taken me a lot longer.
It has now been seven months since stopping TX.

I have realised very recently that I have been in denial about my condition. This shows up when people ask how I am or what I am going to do.
I generally just say I’m fine. Many don’t even know I failed treatment and think everything is OK. I find letting them think this way easier than having to explain all the different scary scenarios that may be open to me.
To be really honest I can’t even be bothered thinking about it myself and so find it slightly irritating when others want to know:
“What are you going to do now?”
Because I really don’t know and frankly I don’t give a damn.

It may be that in ten years I will have end stage liver disease. But as the world is going to end in 12 years what does it matter?
Hee, hee. I do laugh at all the sudden media hysteria at global warming and fossil fuels running out.
And I really do laugh. I don’t look at such programmes.
I saw David Attenborough on TV news looking sullen and doom laden as he has finally come to the realisation that the end is nigh.
I shouted at the screen:
“Where’s your faith you smart arse git. Surely evolution is going to cook something up and save us”.
Maybe it is.
Maybe it is preparing a super virus to wipe all us humans out. We seem to be the ones that are causing all the problems.

So my battle against my illness fades into insignificance against the universal struggle we are all facing.
I love Arnies line in “Terminator 3”
“Judgement day is inevitable”.
Right on, Arnie. Bring it on, just bring it on.


Blogger misspoppy said...

Hi Paul,
Gosh you have been prolific on your blog recently, good, I enjoy reading your posts.
I know what you mean about wanting to forget hep c, and people asking 'what next?', well meaning but not always welcome, especially when you don't have a great idea of what's next yourself.
Hopefully you will not have end stage liver disease in 10 years, I thought that was one of the benefits treatment incurred, even if not sucessful you are better equipped to resist cancer.
I think the radio play will do much to destigmatise the hep c population, so a positive result in that respect.
My very best wishes to you and Sarah.
Miss Poppy

11:28 PM  

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