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OVERCOMER

A Hepc blog, genotype 1, from discovery of virus, till (hopefully) the successful outcome. Also logging the mental, emotional and spiritual journey that this will entail. The entire contents of this blog are copyrighted by Paul Wilcox and Paul Wilcox reserves all rights granted by law to be associated with this blog.

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Location: United Kingdom

Sunday, November 27, 2005

New Prognosis Pain And Pethidine

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While I was away for the four days a new symptom developed. Severe pain in the groin. This is in the area where I had a hernia operation done 18 months ago. I had been diagnosed with hernia a year earlier, 2003, and had been struggling with it for a year before it was operated on. Not a massive pain more a dull ache after a days work.
It was through the routine blood tests for the hernia operation in April 2004 that I discovered I had hepc. In November 2004 I had a biopsy and was recommended for anti viral chemotherapy. Combo therapy, which I began in February 2005. This year.

So, this is where I came in exactly two and a half years ago. Still having hepc and again being on the waiting list for an operation which will leave me incapacitated for six weeks.
All this after enduring 10 months of a very harsh treatment regime which has failed and left me ravaged physically and emotionally.
Hard to bear? You bet!

Such was the severity of the pain in the middle of the night a week last Tuesday that Sarah called 999 and I was taken into A&E.
X rays showed nothing so I was given dihydrocodeine and sent home. My GP booked me in for ultrasound and upped me to pethidine as things were getting worse by the hour.
The ultrasound showed that the hernias operation had failed and that the plastic mesh used to repair the hernia was now out of place and moving around.
Despite the pain and the incapacity there doesn’t seem to be any way of getting around the queue I will inevitably be put in by an outsourcing agency.
Yep, that’s right. You no longer have access to the hospital or a consultant. You are in the first instance put into the hands of an agency that put you in the system. These people are pen pushers - or should I say terminal operatives - with no medical knowledge whatsoever.
The general public have effectively been removed one very large step away from first contact with the hospital itself.

Its impossible to describe the frustration, the anger, the helplessness I first felt when it hit me solidly in the face that I was now in a worse position than I was two and a half years ago.
Yet once more I found that leaning into the pain, letting all the emotions break over me and feeling them and letting them go has been the way thorough.
I have now, after ten days come to a place of acceptance. What is, IS.
And attitudes are more important than facts.

The future? Truly the undiscovered country.

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