Disciplining The Child Within

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Alternatively this post could be called “Why don`t you bloody grow up”, but everyone is so used to and have become comfortable with psycho-babble that I use it myself all the time. Nick made some interesting points about tx and it`s potential for making positive effects for change. Sue picked up on this straightaway and said she had been wondering whether the inner child could be reached and helped. She said that treatment seems to have enabled more strongly her inner challenging child.
These thought s resonated with me and have been percolating around for awhile. I remenber Ron, way back somewhere in the beginning of his tx compensating for what may have been a riba-rush. He was in a meeting and someone was banging on about something and Ron was all fired up to say something- but didn`t, just in case it wasn`t him responding but the tx.
I had the same response myself a week or so ago. Someone irritated me on the road and normally I would have at least tooted, long and hard. I may even have got out and had a rant (only happened twice in last ten years). But, because I was compensating for the combo effects and know how dangerous getting worked up is I did neither of these things.
Firstly, I had been well prepared by my nurse on this very issue. She said,
“You can make any gestures you like, but don`t get out of the car”.
Talk about being mentally prepared beforehand! Thanks, my nurse, you are a star.
After the incident I suddenly realised that I had exhibited more control while on these emotion charging chemicals than what I would have shown if I had been normal. I thought, well there is no reason why I can`t be this better, more controlled person even after treatment ends. I mean who wants to go back to normal behaviour if it is not normal for your age i.e. juvenile.
As I surf the blogs I notice all of us struggling with this issue. Peter, over there in Vermont, says that tx is throwing up all sorts of issues that he would probably prefer to have lie dormant. It`s a very unusual side to the combo and one that I think we are all finding fascinating, although not always welcome.
May our journeys help us all to get in touch with our inner child so that we can heal the hurts, discipline where needed and come to the place where we can unconditionally accept ourselves for the unique being we are.
One of the great legacys my cat left me is that she taught me the power of unconditional love. No matter how grumpy and bad tempered I would get - and off she would scurry and hide – she would always come back out of hiding, seek me out and jump up for a cuddle. She would look straight into my eyes as if to say is everything alright now? And I would say,
“Yes, everything`s alright now”.

Going away for a much needed weekend break with Sarah. Catch up with y`all soon.