Symptoms Part 1: The First Day
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Right. Now we are getting down to some serious stuff.
As far as I can see the most helpful thing when on tx is to be prepared for the various things that may crop up, and therefore have a strategy to cope with them when they do.
After all, our body is at war and all wars are won and lost because of either an effective or defective strategy. In another post I will cover preparation before starting tx, another vital area. After all, what idiot would go to war without being prepared.
Only The British going into Iraq!!
But let`s not get sidetracked into politics or anything else. Being focused before tx is essential and will pay massive benefits once you have begun treatment. Once you have taken your first shot of inteferon and your first dose of ribavirin it`s too late then to start wondering whether the side effects you are experiencing are part of the treatment or something else altogether. I was never a boy scout (far from it!) but their motto "Be Prepared", is a classic.
As you can see from my post, "Don`t mess with me I`m on ribavirin", side effects can assault you the very first day. I never actually finished off that day in my post. I`ll finish it now so you will see what I mean about being ready.
After I left the house that day I went for a walk in a pine forest we have nearby. I was so sensitive I could feel the groud under my walking boots as if I was walking barefoot. My whole nervous system was in an uproar and I was incredibly distressed. I was talking to myself out loud saying, "How can I spend a year like this". "Nothings worth this" etc.
I experienced total abject misery.
I ended up lying down under the trees, and prayed.
After awhile my head cleared and I saw the only two options available to me.
The first was to terminate tx immediately. That would stop all this and the idea was tempting. But because I had prepared well beforehand and had taken stock of my normal state i.e. without these chemicals, I knew that on a general day I felt like shit anyway.
I was already suffering brain fog ( to the extent I thought I might have alzheimers) . I was already getting fatigued so that I couldn`t run my business which I had to wind down.
I was only 49 but I felt like an old man.
No. There was no way I could go back to that. Besides, the virus was obviously becoming extremely virulent and the fact is without treatment I may only have another ten years - and miserable half lived years at that.
Excuse me, but there is absolutely no way I am going to live like that.
The other option was to continue tx hope for an early viral response and ride out the storm.
I think it`s important to have choices. It gives you the feeling that you have at least some measure of control and are not trapped in a corner by inescapeable circumstances.
Feeling a lot calmer I made my way home.
Getting into the house and plonking down into the chair I felt like I was coming down off a bad trip. In the seventies when the use of LSD was at it`s height those who used it said that the only good thing about a bad trip was when it wore off. Now, thankfully, mine was wearing off.
The only thing was it was 5p.m.
At 7p.m. I had to take the same thing and experience it all over again. Would I go through with it?
Because I had prepared myself beforehand, I did.
******************************************************************************
Right. Now we are getting down to some serious stuff.
As far as I can see the most helpful thing when on tx is to be prepared for the various things that may crop up, and therefore have a strategy to cope with them when they do.
After all, our body is at war and all wars are won and lost because of either an effective or defective strategy. In another post I will cover preparation before starting tx, another vital area. After all, what idiot would go to war without being prepared.
Only The British going into Iraq!!
But let`s not get sidetracked into politics or anything else. Being focused before tx is essential and will pay massive benefits once you have begun treatment. Once you have taken your first shot of inteferon and your first dose of ribavirin it`s too late then to start wondering whether the side effects you are experiencing are part of the treatment or something else altogether. I was never a boy scout (far from it!) but their motto "Be Prepared", is a classic.
As you can see from my post, "Don`t mess with me I`m on ribavirin", side effects can assault you the very first day. I never actually finished off that day in my post. I`ll finish it now so you will see what I mean about being ready.
After I left the house that day I went for a walk in a pine forest we have nearby. I was so sensitive I could feel the groud under my walking boots as if I was walking barefoot. My whole nervous system was in an uproar and I was incredibly distressed. I was talking to myself out loud saying, "How can I spend a year like this". "Nothings worth this" etc.
I experienced total abject misery.
I ended up lying down under the trees, and prayed.
After awhile my head cleared and I saw the only two options available to me.
The first was to terminate tx immediately. That would stop all this and the idea was tempting. But because I had prepared well beforehand and had taken stock of my normal state i.e. without these chemicals, I knew that on a general day I felt like shit anyway.
I was already suffering brain fog ( to the extent I thought I might have alzheimers) . I was already getting fatigued so that I couldn`t run my business which I had to wind down.
I was only 49 but I felt like an old man.
No. There was no way I could go back to that. Besides, the virus was obviously becoming extremely virulent and the fact is without treatment I may only have another ten years - and miserable half lived years at that.
Excuse me, but there is absolutely no way I am going to live like that.
The other option was to continue tx hope for an early viral response and ride out the storm.
I think it`s important to have choices. It gives you the feeling that you have at least some measure of control and are not trapped in a corner by inescapeable circumstances.
Feeling a lot calmer I made my way home.
Getting into the house and plonking down into the chair I felt like I was coming down off a bad trip. In the seventies when the use of LSD was at it`s height those who used it said that the only good thing about a bad trip was when it wore off. Now, thankfully, mine was wearing off.
The only thing was it was 5p.m.
At 7p.m. I had to take the same thing and experience it all over again. Would I go through with it?
Because I had prepared myself beforehand, I did.
******************************************************************************
posted by Paul | 5:16 PM
1 Comments:
Christ Paul I have just read your first day on treatment and it has scared the b-jesus out of me.
I start my tx in 2 weeks and hope to God that it doesn't hit me as hard as it's hit you. I have similar feeling to you too, in that even before tx I have serious brain fog and was so fatigued I had to give up my job so understand where you are coming from.
Hang in there.....
bestest wishes
Tink
ps you look like a guy who knows his HTML - how do I put a visitor count on my blog site?
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