Week 12

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Please note the following refers mainly to Geno 1.

Today is week 11 of tx. Tonight I will be having shot 12. Next Monday I will be blood tested for many things but the most important test, the absolutely crucial test, is the viral response. Unless I have achieved a 2 log drop in the amount of virus in my blood, treatment will cease. Full stop!
I know enough now that no amount of pleading will change my nurses mind because the facts speak for themselves. People that do not achieve at least a 2 log drop at week 12 are classed as non-responders. They are the minority that will not respond to this particular form of combo tx no matter how long they are on it or what mega dose they are put on.
What happens to them? I don`t know really. I suppose it is just down to living as healthy a lifestyle as possible and keeping going as best you can. All this is still new, we just don`t have enough data.
If you are geno 2 or 3 you are different. You may not even get a 12 week test because you will automatically get your full 24 weeks tx and be expected to clear the virus.

For me as a geno 1 I put off thinking about the implications for week 12 for as long as possible, but now that it is imminent I have looked at it and come to a place of acceptance. It is certainly a biggie. Rarely are you faced with your own mortality so profoundly as when you discover you have an acute disease. You don`t look all this in the eye and come away unchanged. It can never be business as usual. Some things will change.
Just as I am writing this Sarah phones me about some carpets we need to order. We had a flood last week and these are things that need sorting out. But her call distracted me from writing this post – and irritated me. After awhile I started to get downright angry.
"Why are you bothering me with this? I don`t need this shit". Hmmm. This is a bit of an over the top reaction to what is, after all, a minor interruption. There`s something else going on here. I took a look inside to see what was really the issue here – and suddenly I saw it. I am writing of facing chronic illness and ultimate issues and she is going on about carpets.
It took me right back to when I was about ten years old and out walking with my dad. It would have been 1965, the war had only been over 20 years and he said this:
“I could never understand family and people back home writing to us on the front line complaining about rationing and that my mother couldn`t get nylons, while all around every day you were seeing your mates get their heads blown off right beside you.”
Even at the age of 10 I could see his point.
He was one of the lucky ones who made it home – minus a leg which he left somewhere in France. Kinda puts things in perspective doesn’t it?
On a far lesser level, but nevertheless just as real, is this war we are in. We have to face the enemy and do what is necessary to gain our freedom. None of us chose to be on combo. It’s a reaction to a threat.
For me, coming to a place of acceptance of all this has only been possible through my faith in God. People say that belief in God is just a crutch for weak people. Yeah, well, I need more than a crutch to get me through this load of bollocks, I need a total life support system and 24 hour permanent care. And that`s just what I get with Jesus.

Gotta go now, got some carpets to sort out.

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